Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
