hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
