Please, let me fuck your mom
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
