tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Randomize