Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I want is dick and wine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
