Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
