She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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