just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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