I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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