Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
