you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize