Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
