i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
