Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
This toilet bowl is my home.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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