k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
