he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
