Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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