she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is Oprah even human
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize