That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
