I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize