oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
