Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
