This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
