I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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