i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
