I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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