i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
