Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
