so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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