She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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