Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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