Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
