Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
