dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
