Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
