sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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