Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
