Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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