Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
two words: eviction party
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
