Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your penis caused this!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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