absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
