she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
