you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
