I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
