they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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