I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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