Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
