There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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