You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
