There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
