Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
