Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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