they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
