people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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