my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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