Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
