so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
