The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
