My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
