So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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